BA3BARA

Mr/mrs right, does they really exist n if so what is the proof??
r they those we r supposed 2 marry n complete our lives with or those we loved and dreamt of completing our lives with
was this mr.righ always there 4 me but I couldn't find him or he is just coming n I have 2 b more patient
tab if we have no Patience n we were fed up n we were obligated 2 choose anyone 2 complete our lives with , does this means that we have lost our chance in finding this one
ya3ny howa elmafrod nestana wla la2, OK when is the right time 2 forget about the mr right matter n decide 2 go on in our lives
tab ya3ny mawgod or this is just an illusion and excuse 4 the temporarily bad luck
n the fact others found their soul mates make everyone of us begin thinking of this one and wait 4 him as if he is the rescuer n the one who will change all these bad luck with his presence around
OK what if this one came after we chose another person 2 share our future , what if we already had our lives n he just came in the false time does this means that the bad luck Will always haunt us n we have 2 accept the fact that we were born unlucky in love
OK maybe he exist n we will just know him once we met OK what if we didnt have this chance 2 met our ones,OK what if we thought that this is the one n suddenly we discovered that he is not, how we knew n why we changed our opinions
ok im fed up(zehe2t) n i don't even care anymore about this damn one, la bs hal howa fe3lan mawgod (omg its a circle that seems that it would never end)

Posted by whizkid * 1* at 1:58 PM | Permalink | Comments

He opens the door slowly,its creaking frightens him..he hesitates..
As the creaking rises,his fears intensify,he looks through the tiny opening,it's completely dark outside.Giving it a second thought,he takes a step back and shut the door.

Back to his pale yellow room,he creeps to his bed,folds his arms tightly,he feels cold and lonely.He leans his head against the pale yellow wall but repulsively moves it back again when his warm forehead touches the cold wall.

He's not feeling well and and he knows it.Millions of thoughts are sweeping through his head,half of them do not make any sense to him.Maybe i dont belong here,he says to himself.He looks up to the ceiling trying to make shapes out of the shadows hanging up there; a rabbit,water tap..a car..but where can i go? he wonders.

He remembers what happened to him late in the afternoon and fight his tears.he leans his head to the wall again,not minding it like before,it's cold and hard against his tired head but he gets used to it and feels safe.It's no longer cold and its hardness supports him.

Being too close to the wall he feels something weird, a long warm arm comes out of it and holds him real tight..exactly what he needs at that moment.he didnt panic nor disbelieve just surrendered to the feeling of the touch.
"i'm allright now "he says to himself.

He's not afraid anymore,he jumps out of the bed,takes serious steps toward that ugly door,opens it widely and runs out of it.then reaching the living room,he graps a pen and a paper,writes a few unreadable lines then sticks the paper on the tv screen and disappears.

In the morning,she wakes up,looking for him everywhere,she couldnt find him.Alarmed and confused she reached the tiny paper hanging on the t.v screen.

"Dear ma,
I left home because i know you dont love me the same way u did when i was small.you didnt hit me when i was smaller but now you do. I hate going to school and i cant help being stupid in math..i dont want to go there again and i dont want to live with you nomore.."

The mother tries to regain her balance but she couldnt.She runs to the phone but she doesnt know who to call.she throws herself desperately on a nearby armchair and weeps.

He could hear her from his hiding place,he feels victorious and strong for the first time.now she is suffering the way he did,but watching her weeping that hard was no more amusing.
Minutes later, he burst out,walks proudly toward his miserable broken hearted mother and pats on her shoulder.

As she rises up her head with floods in her eyes,she grabs him feircly almost to hit him again,but instead,she hugs him hard..she hugs her 8 years old kid like never before.He's the only family she got and lives for and who-for a second-thought she lost him for good.

After all these years and back to his old room again, grey headed,he still remembers. All the toys,tiny cars..guns..colourful books scattered here and there seem too strange to him.It's just the pale yellow wall that never escaped his memory. He faces his old wall waiting for the long warm arms to come out again, today he needs to feel its support more than any other time.But it didnt show and the hug he needed became impossible to attain.His tears cunningly escapes his grip as he stands in front of the wall.. a frightened kid allover again.

Posted by whizkid * 1* at 2:37 PM | Permalink | Comments

Unworthy

You've always been good to me,
you've always been true,
but I betrayed that trust,
put the world between me and you.

Still you had faith in me,
and still you persisted,
it hurts more when you feel,
you are unworthy of what you are gifted.

You say "You're the best I got",
I say nothing but my head I nod,
why my words become so few,
wanted to say sorry,forgive me,you're the best I got too.

I know one day it will be too late,
you wont be there right beside me,
I might run after you but I'll b afraid,
of what an unworthy person I got to be.

Sorry for all the things I have said,
and for all the things I should have said,
I'll say am unworthy before you do,
because it'd kill me to hear it from you.

I looked indifferent when I cared the most,
I acted bravely when I was real weak,
we promised you're my best and am yours,
but I stayed mute when I had to speak.

It's dedicated to my best friend,
to the dearest too,
together we've reached the end,
because I was..I was unworthy i know.

Posted by whizkid * 1* at 2:27 PM | Permalink | Comments

it's all about love..we el tagarob athbatet kida..
anything in our life great and beautiful it's because it's done or said with love.
in any person's life and when it come 2 the soft part which is the heart
there are 4 roads
-ur love to ur creator
-ur love 2 the "significant other"
-ur love 2 ur family/friends
-ur love 2 urself
sure every person re arrange this according to his piorities but let me tell u that i guess this is the ideal sequence though it's not mine lel 2saf!

all ur love that u can give is distrubuted not equally akid among those 4 elements.
two things to remember
1-never forget or drop one of them by concentrating on another..like giving all ur love and attention to ur soul mate and neglecting ur family,ur God or worse; urself..
2-if u bear it..show it..meaingly,if u really bear love 4 someone..please tell him,4 some it's actions speak louder and i totaly agree coz i am a member of this club.but at least take it out wz any means.
think of it like this:if i have passion for someone or something i have to prove it .if it's a career,love translated to work..if it's a person love translated to care and tenderness..prove ur love or never expect to have its fruits back.
sweets words are act of love ,helping in trivial stuff b4 seriuos ones,listening...asking about someone.."malak?"leeh t2theer kawy 2wy:D
giving someone u miss a hug or even law lesa shayfo yester..share a joke..a sad moment.
all these are acts of love.do them now to get them back b4 giving them again..it's a cycle and it's true..as much as u give love as much as u get it back.

Posted by whizkid * 1* at 5:19 AM | Permalink | Comments

I agree that "arfa3 rasak" gomla b tefakrna b mawakef kiteera,ahamha ayam el madrasa we el fasl lama el wa7ed yeb2a fasel we mosh taye2 el 7essa we yefakar yenamlo 7aba kida we ez b soot el modarsa el gahoor..anta yalla gamb el shibak.."arfa3 rasak".

anyway that's just an example that occured 2 me while writing the title,though it's not precisely wat i wanna talk about her.

well,i'll tell u a story..listen.

Nazaran l2n ana dont own a car we cant drive 2sasan,fa bat7eweg 7awga we7sha 2wy lel mashy fe shaware3 el 3asema..yes i love walking bs b yeb2a torture sa3at kiteera.

i used 2 walk alot, partly coz i prefer walking than any other means of transport. we bema en it's always hot and sunny seef we sheta i tend dayman 2 lower my head down while walking i dunno how or when this became a habit..a bad one:S

another reason also is that i hate the way fellow egyptians stare at others mahma kan shaklo we hay2to lazem el tatnee7,fa by looking at the ground i felt that i am avoding the whole matter.

el fekra en i never thought this was an issue y3ny until one day a friend took a notice of that and he was like.."efra3y rasek!!madam mashya fe el share3 yeb2a rasek fo2!"

gomla 3adya we mantekya bs the tone of his voice was too serious and i felt too small afterwards; why do i fear the sun ?el tan we el 7amdula kida kida b na7'do..why do i fear the ppl's stares..why do i keep my head down and make it a habit that's not easy 2 change.

reader..the idea akid here mosh "lama temshy fe el share3 erfa3 rasak y7san 3arbya tedosak..it's more general;
1-it's 2 easy 2 make a bad habit n 2 hard 2 give it up
2-if u get used 2 avoiding problems and turning ur face away from light u'll always b like this .u'll become a coward even before u realize it.
3-never hesitate 2 say no or enough to watever going wrong in ur life ,coz as long as ur head is down u r making a very small influence -barely none.
4-bel 3araby ma t7'fsh men 7ad-the one who'll look at u in the eye,stare back at him.."na3am?!"

u know some may think it's a silly story bs 2 me it meant alot,begad a lot of bad things in our life b tegy bel ta3awod.
if u used 2 fearing,avoiding,turning away,escaping..all this will b a pattern ,while if u raise ur head up and looked around that's the beauty.
u might recieve a smile from anonymous that makes ur day or notice an old friend running to u with wide arms..or even better u might notice someone who needs ur help and giving him a hand, u gain that unique feeling of satisfaction from God.

Dont waste chances by shutting ur eyes and walking with long steps to pass others..la "erfa3 rasak" n take ur time to feel how special u are among a whole population.

Posted by whizkid * 1* at 2:39 AM | Permalink | Comments

talking in religion can be so dangerous but certain situation took place n i was there so i can not shut my mouth
here is the situation exactly as it happened
i was at the coiffure doing my hair n all who where there were female only then group of women entered from the door they were all wearinbg the hijab with its different shapes
hijab, isdal and the niqab, the one wearing the niqb showed her face when she found that we were all women
ten minutes later a girl entered from the door with her girl friend suddenly the woman put back the piece of cloth she was covering her face with
not only this but she started to look to the two grils in a a strange way (N.B.the two girl were like 16 only n the veiled woman was over 30)
what annoyed me was the woman attitude n when the 2 girls left she showed her face again n she was like yaaah y sater
do u know why she covered her face coz the 2 girls were christian n we r claiming that we r living peacly
i always had christian friends coz in my house i learnt that people r all the same
n in my religion i also learnt that all people r the same
but when such kind of woman who r supposed 2 be more religious than me behave like this then hatred will increase gradually
i don't say that Christians are all angels but like this Muslim woman there r those few Christians who r also like this
she wore this dress n never thought what does this mean
it means that she is a model for all Muslim women when she behave like this then these 2 young girls will hate all Muslims
no wonder the rest of the world hate us
we r calimnhg that we r the only right people n our religion is the only right religion in this world n we forgot that our religion is based upon respect n good attitudes
we forget that faith is what matters the most we forgot that we r Egyptians n that we lived in this country 2ogether for centuries
we forgot that Egyptian copts who still live among us r the original Egyptians who drank formn the Nile n shared in the building of our civilization( da lw e7na aslan civilized)
nerga3 le elmawkef we tab3an ana ma 2edertehs amsek nafsy
i returned my face to that woman, how did u knew that they were Christians? i asked, she said coz they were having the cross on their hands, i was shocked even more by what she said
then i raised my hands n told her, "ok i dont have these crosses but that does not mean that I'm not christian
she was like ha what do u mean r u?
till now this woman do not know whether I'm Muslim or Christan coz 4 me it does not matter I'm human I'm Egyptian n that enough 4 us if we want 2 live peacefully as we claim

Posted by whizkid * 1* at 5:03 AM | Permalink | Comments

i never thought that working and its related decisions could be that hard, finding a job n trying 2 love ur career then reconsidering ur life n taking the decision to leave ur job (this is the hardest stage of them all).
i used 2 love my job n the people there they were like my family but this is life n in someday this step was 2 be taken it was only matter of time.
i quitted the job i loved i quitted n left the place where i met all my new n good Friends, i quitted my computer n my desk n gave the keys to my boss.
i quitted n i will not say the normal daily hi to the security man or salamo 3aleko for the lift Guy.
i quitted n took all my things n left the building where i used 2 go daily 4 almost 2 years where i met my colleagues laughed quarreled talked n shared unforgettable moments.
i could seem 2 be upset but on the contrary I'm so happy, satisfied and convinced the thing that astonished me, that i i feel that I'm starting a new phase of my life with new people n in new place.
i feel that I'm going out of certain room and closing the door back then putting my hand and opening the next door n the curiosity filling me 2 see what is inside.
n if i Will look back 2 the previous door ( da lw baset aslan) the only expression will be a nice smile saying "thank u, u gave me a lot n ill always b thankful but this is life n the next room is waiting 4 me,"
shokran we elsalamo 3alekom we ra7mat alah we brakato
aaah lma ad7'ol this new room ill write then what happened rabena yostor we ma adtaresh arga3 to the old one

Posted by whizkid * 1* at 3:00 PM | Permalink | Comments

I was never into politics n I don't intend 2 but when i was writing one of these posts i wrote without conscious while telling story eswed 3la ko7ly ( she became a citizen who knows her duties and asking in courage 4 her rights)
is this really true, do we all know what r our duties before we r asking loudly and angrily about our rights
i admit that i didnt know till that point or even think about my rights or my duties but i thought i should first put down the rights im searching 4 n hoping that elagayl alkadema ely beytkalemo 3nha tla2y rob3ohom

*i have the right to learn efficiently n equally ( mesh atla3 mesh fahma ay 7aga we bat7'abat)

*i have the right 2 find a place in the faculty i always dreamt of entering ( mesh bardo ala2y nafsy fe koleya e7'tartaha mn el7agat ely mogbara 3aleha)

*i have the right 2 find respect in my life n from everyone regardless of my gender social level , religion or how i look (mesh 3shan folan ibn folan yeb2a ast7'aba we aseblo forasy fe eldenay de aw 3shan ana bent yeb2a elwalad awla be forsety aw ab2a mashya fe elshare3 we 7'ayfa mn kol 7aga we mn ay 7ad y2arab le yem3ley 7aga keda wla keda aw 7'ayfa mn nazret wa7ed leya 3la eny mesh mo7agaba ka2eny kafra)by the way all the previous rights r 2 be obtained from the people themselves ely lw kano et3alemo aslan sa7 we 7'ado their rights bardo they would have been totaly different creatures

*i have the right 2 find a job without the interfere of my parents 2 contact all the people they know (n this option was available 4 me but not 4 thousands else)

*i have the right when i find this job to b treated equally n as human being n 2 be rewarded as much as i worked (mesh 3shan elwa7ed 3ndo dameer yetala3o 3eno)

*i have right 2 feel secured mesh el3amlaeya ba2et fe3lan 7ameha 7arameha

*i have the right 2 have all my legal papers finished mn 3'er ma adfa3 wla maleem zyada

*i have the right 2 feel the equality and justice n so others so i wqont envy others n others wont envy me (el7ekd eltabaky ely benetkalem feh we be tahreg)

*i have the right 2 find the right religious advice (mesh kolo beyfty n trading with false slogans)

*i have the right 2 go daily 2 my job in a clean, cheap and quick transport ( mesh aro7 kol yom ta3abana mn elmeshwar we all my energy aslan 7'alsana)

*i have the right 2 find someone who listen 2 me n 2 be sure that my requests n choices will be fulfilled (ya3ny lma n2ol la2 mesh 3ayzen folan aw la2 balaha ta3delat 7ad la ema yekne3na ya ema yesm3na)

ok now my duties, give me first those rights n ill then begin to negotiate about those duties, who give a damn aslan (b3d kol da we 3ayzen duties kefaya eny esta7melt kol ely fo2 da

Posted by whizkid * 1* at 2:00 PM | Permalink | Comments

ten things i love about Egyptians


1-i love it when something falls from my hand and i found several hand down 2 pick it up 4 me
2-i love it when strangers smile n i smile back then we became in a moment close friends even if we have never met before
3-i love the fatty of el directions when u r lost just 2 seem helpful
4-i love it when we start discussion politics and everyone pretend 2 b an x president
5-i love their eagerness and passion in everything,football,Palestine Iraq.
6-i love them when everyone is offering his food or water (etfadal), or searching for the exchange 4 u (aw ywal3o le b3d elsagyer)
7-i love it when u r leaving after a 10 hrs visit and the insist u stay more
8-i love their passion 4 their country even in its worst they r always complaining about egypt n once someone attack Egypt they r ready 2 kill him(ba7ebek we lw metala3a 3eny ba7ebek moot)
9-i love it when they say hello or welcome to tourists in a strange accent just 2 b friendly
10-i love the feeling of looking at any face of elder woman in street and feel she looks like ur mother, i love it when any child is like ur younger bother u have the right 2 play with n give him food and advice n his mother is happy with that



,

Posted by whizkid * 1* at 1:33 PM | Permalink | Comments

ten things i hate most about love

1-i hate it when it is not here and i hate it even more when it comes with its normal pain
2-i hate the fact it is not here when i am deeply in need of it
3-i hate the fact it seems so close but whenever i go neerer it seems that is faring away
4-i hate it when he wants me as the someone in his mind not the someone i truly am
5-i hate it even more when i cant change
6-i hate it when am too weak and the fact that he's the reason and the cure at the same time
7-i hate it when it is 2 much and aked when it is 2 little
8-i hate the way he convinces me with something i already made my mind about it..then i listen and reconsider
9-i hate the way i wonder how long this love will last..if it ever will
10--i hate the fact i don't hate him,not even little not even a bit not even at all


and the ten things i love most about love

1-i love it coz it gives me strengh to change
2-i love it when it turn all my world upside down
3-i love it when it give me hope in things i never though i will have in
4-i love it when i wake up in the morning and u r the 1st thing in my mind and go 2 sleep wz u the last thing
5-i love it when i am that special 2 someone the thing that make me feel special 4 everyone
6-i love it when i want 2 b better
7-i love it even when it is fake or when am not sure coz ill never be sure enough
8- i love it when we say something at the same time or when i w8 4 his name 2 appear on my phone
9-i love it when im waiting 4 sthg 2 be said and when it happens i will be suddenly moved 2 another world
10-i love u for no reason it's just because u r the one u r and i am the one i am with u

Posted by whizkid * 1* at 1:01 PM | Permalink | Comments

le daraget eswed 3ala ko7ly


well we all agree that we changed in a way or another after we finished our school and college days and joined the real world.
some of us changed to the better.. others were not that lucky.
some got involved with social life-el etgawez we 7a'alef we kida- we other the career and ambition drove him away to the extent that he forgot how things were yesterday,,


we'll ignore the 1st category,mosh mawdo3na...
the second category,those who r eager to make a path in life sawa2 a-kan howa dh el odamhom 2slan 2w law howa their choice f3lan.

story1
she changed akid after she gruadeted we bema en el title eswed w eko7ly then we r referring 2 that bad points,
she became more indifferent though she thought work n responsibilty might change that,it increased it.
she had little faith in ambition when she saw the real world or how things truely work..ayam el gam3a we had a platonic view of things we sho3oor enena we deserve 2 b ra2es wezara coz we r up 2 it.
"all my life i wanted 2 b someone special..now i realized i should have been more specific"
she also had little faith in great meanings like friendship or even love,no matter how strong the bonds are they will b loose one day .we r not discussiong the reasons of why a 10 year old friendship might disappear or why a just born love struggles and fades away but the fact of that we became different persons even 2 ourselves.
no patiance no interest in anything or anyone new,no faith in almost anything,no confidence in that anything might change that state we reached..r we talking about depression here!?

story 2

she suddenly found herself going deeply in this career life n all its related issues
stealing moments just 2 have fun
continues thinking of money (elmoratab ely beytfartek mn abl ma yegy)
the shape of the person also changed gradually from that soft girl 2 that practical girl n always taking work as an excuse (ma3lesh asly lesa rag3a mn elsho3'l we elsho3'l bahdala we keda)
it is not that she hates this life but the fact that she has changed frightens her

yes she became more positive, yes she understand now somehow the meaning of the real world yes she knew the value of money yes she is becoming a real citizen knowing his duties and asking with courage 4 his rights yes she became all that which is not something bad at all but what about that girl as a human being her feelings her emotions her social life of course it was partially ruined "no one gets everything" as someone mesh fakra men 2al.

when she looks back 2 these old college days 3'asben 3nha ygelha ekte2ab, when life was so pretty ,when deciding the place she'll hang out 2day was her hottest topic.
when she was surrounded by friends from everywhere (aham no2ta), when her mobile phone was always busy with people asking 4 her, when she used 2 dress up every morning we tta2anak keda, when she was relaxed we mesh shayla ham 7aga fe eldenya, when she used 2 invite all of her friends 2 her birthday party n faces the problem of not finding enough chairs 4 them ( delwa2ty lw 2 told her happy birthday yeb2a 7'er we baraka).

the loneliness part made this career life meaningless, eating alone or shopping alone became something so normal the thing that she never though would happen 2 her when she used 2 hang out with her friends she had never notice those eating alone but now she looks deeply at them (we tbos awy 3la malame7hom which r similar 2 hers),shopping or eating outdoor(momkne tkon 7agat tafha bs mohema as they give signs of the life she is going thorugh not just hangign out but her needy 2 feel the good company 2 cheer up her in down times, 2 give her a hand when she is helpess n someone 2 lean on when she is in pain,
this is life this is real world maybe the problem is that she never though it would b that harsh (3la ra2y fouad negm)
حد ضامن يمشى امن
او مامن يمشى فين

Posted by whizkid * 1* at 12:00 PM | Permalink | Comments